Soft spots and judgement

Everyone has soft spots and personal demons. There are words that when heard trigger a painful or scary reaction. Most of the time the person who said the words had no idea they might cause such a reaction; sometimes, of course, it is just the opposite especially if the people know each other well; but for the most part we tend to blunder about trying to be helpful and inadvertently causing pain.

Most well-meaning folk will immediately apologize when alerted that they have caused pain, and if the hurt person can also see that there have been no harmful actions, just blundering words, hopefully the hurt person can accept the apology. But sometimes the hurt person can’t, or won’t, and they feel that they are justified in being unkind and harsh to the person who inadvertently stumbled into their soft spot.

Sometimes the hurt person believes they are displaying toughness: I am tough and I am going to show that I am tough by not letting you trick me into forgiving you. And sometimes they are just being childish, like little girls in the school yard refusing to play with someone who made them mad.

In either case, there is nothing the blunderer can do to make the situation better. The power is in the hands of the injured party to decide if they want to hold a grudge or move on.

Of course, sometimes, the blunderer has hit upon a truth and the person with the soft spot can’t face that truth, and blames the blunderer for noticing it–as if it didn’t exist before it was noticed.

Sometimes one person can hate another person because the other person is everything they wish they could be, but can’t. Sometimes a person see themselves as something they are not, and they are so invested in that false image that they cannot learn. They take away the information for the false image, not the information for the person they truly are.

And that is sad, but it is not really anyone’s right or responsibility to change them. There’s something in the bible about not judging. Noticing is OK, but trying to change someone implies that you have judged them and decided that you know better, and you probably don’t, and even if you do it’s not your place.

Eddie Bauer Winter Collection

This was an internal product presentation for the Eddie Bauer sellers. It was in a raw a storefront and lit with Color Kinetics and K9 Pups LEDs fixtures.

Northern Lights Again!

Northern Lights was an outdoor installation in the town of Roslyn–famed for being the location where the television show Northern Exposure was filmed. I used Altman PAR 64s and ETC Source 4 PARs along with Rosco X-effect machines to highlight the architectures and pathways through the town, creating an interactive light environment for a summer’s eve.

Aria Party

This was an events industry party held at the Georgetown Studio in Seattle, A small party space with white walls, high ceilings and very little power. I use a combination of LED lights, a few lekos with gobos, and some effects lighting machines–bliss lights and X-effects–to create small multi-colored environments suggesting the the world of Alice in Wonderland.

When people help

There was a movie called “Pay It Forward” that I never saw, and although many others did – many-many I believe – I don’t see that it influenced the general population at all.  I don’t notice many people being kind. And despite all the Christians out there, and all the talk of community, people often stick together only in order to alienate someone else.

However, I have a number of wonderful and loyal and kind and thoughtful friends, and I do not regret any of the extra efforts I have ever made to help anyone because I have all these friends.

So there! Mean people suck! And even when they hurt my feelings with their meanness I have friends to make me feel better.

Changes and justice

There are times when something happens, an event, a change, a happening so tremendous and unexpected, or preceded by so much foreshadowing, but yet so unfathomable that it leaves you shaking and somewhat queasy. You wonder how such a thing could happen because it is not good and it flips everything around. And the unjustness of it makes you fear for yourself realizing your own vulnerability and checking your behavior carefully.

Those times are very difficult to live through. You want to be anywhere but where you are and yet all you can do is stare and tremble slightly. Taking action and helping others can provide a momentary sense of control, but eventually you are left alone at night with your thoughts and fears and you wonder how you could let such a thing happen and not object.

But after some time you move through the fear and the change becomes the norm.

And so—in this way—we often allow the dreadful and unjust to happen and pass into distant history with very little comment.