Only four years, but so many days and nights and feelings and events and people and airplanes and rain storms.
A comment came through from an old post, a meaningless comments, and unexpected. It brought me back and I thought why not write again. Here, and now.
About moving on.
No matter what we want to do, we move on. The joy fades to a warm memory and the hurt becomes a callous that wears away with time. The chances we never had are still not there and the mistakes still call to us over the empty space of time. The moment before and the moment after cannot be undone. All that was, is not.
The pain is intense, like hot coals we must flee from or fling at others. It is hard to settle into the disappointment and sadness, much better to be angry and cast those horrible feelings of vulnerability outward to others. But happiness and joy are still there underneath it all, just waiting for a little nourishment, a kind thought, a nice meal, a good book, a phone call to a friend. Acceptance of the situation, and moving on.
It can be done. Many have done it before and many will do it again, today, tomorrow, and the next.